Scenic byway? Biproduct...

Much to my shock, utter amazement, and pure excitement, at about 3:30 this afternoon Spencer calls down from his office/our bedroom (how romantic, right?) and says "T-15 we're going to drive up the canyon." Hurray! Finally the family time I've been dying to have since basically the beginning of August when our lives were uprooted. Well, you didn't have to tell me twice. Diapers were changed, snacks assembled, and kids loaded up in record time. It was a beautiful day here today, and with American Fork Canyon literally being 2 minutes from our house, I was ready to go!

What started out as a pleasant enough drive through the countryside made a steep turn downward the higher up the mountain we got. Mac, with his sixth sense for anything sugary and/or chocolate, was demonstrating loudly that he was well aware that I had more Sixlets hiding in the front seat. Then Trin kept complaining that her throat hurt. Me, being the ever-vigilant mother that I am, simply apologized and told her to keep looking for snow. Well, we had almost made the entire treacherous loop, coming out at Sundance resort in Provo, when...what was that? The sound of the birds in the vibrant orange trees? The nearby babbling brook? Nope. Trin puking all over the back seat. Apparently in 3-year-old land, a sore throat translates into "Mom, pull the car over, I have to spue my innards outward from the toes up!" I was not aware of this subtle translation until today.

I'm not sure what was worse...trying to figure out what in the world Trin had been eating the last 24 hours, or the painfully sympathetic glances of the passers-by. Smile and wave, let's keep it moving folks!

The world according to...me!

All right, let me explain this. I started out searching for a graphic of a baby aspirator to coincide with my clever little post on "The snucker; and other misguided truths." Well, in my current state of total exhaustion after having cleaned the entire house in a recooperation effort from having guests for the last week, I came across this little gem. I really just have no idea what to say. Wait a minute, yes I do. I always have something totally brilliant and awe inspiring to say about EVERYTHING. And what I have to say is this...I hate stupid people.

Okay, so the "snucker" that I mentioned above is the abbreviated form of the words snot and snucker. Spencer and I came up with this genius term when Trin was little, and it has since been frequently used in the Clawson household while Mac has been teething again. It was while I was holding Mac down flat on his back with one leg while steadying his head with my other knee and sucking out the deepest depths of his brain with the snucker that I was reflecting on the dumb things that I (only sometimes) and other people (of course much more frequently than myself) do that make absolutely no sense. Thus, the following list of "observations" for your reading pleasure!

1. The snucker. Sure it alleviates that nasty mucous pouring out of your toddler's head for an hour or so, but seriously...do any of you remember what it feels like? If we did, we probably wouldn't use one.

2. People drive grocery carts like they drive their cars. Guaranteed the dorkus that plows out into the main lane of canned goods from the cereal detour does not understand roundabouts, nor do they wait their turn at a 4-way stop.

3. I understand the "but if it were only true" motivation behind forwarding emails. I understand the fear of certain death if 10 of your friends do not receive said email within 20 minutes. I am here to tell you that Bill Gates is not giving anybody in my address book any money, and the only bad luck I've experienced lately is because I simply chose to ignore my to-do list.

4. Nothing good ever came from the Bachelor. That is why, in it's 165th season, everyone should stop watching. Just stop.

5. I love Disneyland. I REALLY do. But...just because you keep bumping your sweaty tillies, or that nicely rounded gut into the back of me does not mean you're getting onto Splash Mountain any faster. Just back off, bucko! I have a safety bubble!

6. Stretch pants (you know...the kind from the eighties with the tapered ankles) appear to be making a comeback. My father always said to avoid the appearance of evil, which is precisely why even I am bowing out from this fashion trend. Just a suggestion. Some of you may actually look fabulous in them.

7. My little brother and his wife are having a baby! I just had to throw that in.

8. Most of you reading this understand that there is no "just" in being a stay-at-home mom. This, however, seems to have escaped the Comcast girlio I was talking to on the phone the other day. "So you're just a housewife?" NO...do you just sit and talk on the phone all day?

9. Just because you can, DOES NOT mean you should. That's all.

I was going to come up with a nice even 10, but as Trin would say, my eyes are getting tired. My friend Kasey summed up my incoherent rambling as "poetic sarcasm." I hope I did not disappoint!

I did it!

Well, for the past two weeks I've had every great intention in the world to post...I know that many of you have been waiting with baited breath for the naked kids in the tub video. But alas, when your husband has only been home for three days of the last entire month, things don't always go according to plan. While laying in bed after long days with my kiddos, I would think about clever names for my posts, even. For example, diary of a jaded single wife, the chronicles of narni@#*!!*#, and what the heck not even HGTV is entertaining anymore. None of these, of course, came to fruition, so I'm just going to give the last several weeks to you totally straight.

After only being here for about 4 days, Spencer left on his first excursion back to AZ that ended up lasting 2 and a half weeks. During that time, I unpacked the entire house, hung everything on the walls, mostly got rid of the mysterious smell in the carpet downstairs, and even made a few BFF's on the street. I felt really productive, but as the days cycled from really irritated, to so sad for me, and eventually to total boredom...I decided to take off to the oasis that is otherwise known as Aunt Kristi's house and Disneyland! We even got to see AZ and UT friends while we were there.





It was so great to spend time with them...my kids totally love being at the Hendrickson house, and seeing all of our other family. Plus, it was infinitely beneficial for them to have some other human interaction other than their emotionally unsound mother.



So I, in a moment of sheer genius, decided to take the little people to Dland one more time on Monday before leaving to come home. Crazy as even this idea was, I was going to take them on a few rides, eat lunch, and then head out. It was such a great day, though, I ended up staying in Anaheim until about 4:30. After hitting various pockets of traffic, including in Barstow (are you kidding me?) we rolled in about 5 a.m. Not counting my day of recooperation, we saw Spenc for three days and he was off to AZ (I'm sure to visit his nicely tanned mistress) yet AGAIN!

He was only gone for a week this time, which was marginally more tolerable, so we managed to survive. We had lots of company this weekend to keep us, well...company! My bro, his wife, and other assorted peeps, were able to spend Conference with us. I was also able to get out with three of my most adorable friends on Saturday morning for a session (LDS lingo...ask me about it sometime) and our adult word quota for the weekend. Such fun!

And finally...what you've all been waiting for! Naked cracks!